I’m Just Not Ready.

I opened my presents from my birth mother and they were just wonderful. I received a really nice clock and a copy of the movie The Polar Express which I enjoyed on Christmas eve. It is one of her favorite movies.

I noticed back a few months ago, she switched from signing her letters with “sincerely” to “fondly“. I thought that was really nice.

I was startled by the little card that came with the clock. She signed it “Love and best wishes for a healthy, happy 2007″. I saved the card as I save everything she sends.

As I was writing thank you cards, I debated how I should sign off. I thought of a friend who told me to set my boundaries and another who told me to remain true to myself.

I guess at this point, I am just not ready to use the love word. I feel somewhat bad about that but I feel what I feel. I hope she understands.

So I wrote her a little message about what a wonderful year this has been for me. After much debate, I signed the letter “fondly” and I feel comfortable with that.

I remember being told once that people in reunion are moving at different speeds. It is interesting how she and I keep swapping speeds. She is speeding up and I am slowing down. Eventually, we will meet somewhere in the middle.

The Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like eskimos

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa’s on his way
He’s bringing lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother’s child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Chrismas to you

Words and music by Mel Torme and R.Wells

Talking with Craig Hickman.

I recently had the pleasure of corresponding with Craig Hickman. His book Fumbling Toward Divinity is a tale of an incredible journey through reunion told in a uniquely honest and highly spiritual voice. Often graphic, this book will fascinate anyone interested in reunion. The message of remaining true to one’s self will strike a chord with adoptees and birthparents alike.

After reading the book, I was struck by the similarities and differences in our reunion stories. Check him out at:

http://craighickman.blogspot.com/

http://hometown.aol.com/abcfarmbooks/