Telephone Tag.

Last night I arrived home around 6:00 p.m., ate a quick dinner and played with the dog in the backyard. The warm weather had those first little hints of spring.

The dog surprised me by actually eating her dinner. She tends to be discriminating (or spoiled)and these are her favorite foods in order:

1. Treats.
2. Dirty dishes (as you are trying to put them in the dishwasher).
3. Any food item she can snatch while you have the fridge door open.
4. Any treats she can snatch while you have the pantry door open.
5. Massive amounts of water (so she can have a treat after she comes in from peeing).
6. Carrots and most vegetables.
7. Those subscription cards that fall out of magazines.
8. Socks (clean or dirty). She doesn’t really eat these but she likes to run off with them!

You will note that her regular food isn’t on the list because she won’t eat it until it sits for 24 hours. She likes to completely exhaust any possibility that it will be replaced by treats before she will go near it.

Anyway, I came in with the dog and noticed B. had called. I called her back and left a message on her machine when she didn’t answer. I sat down on the couch with the phone near me and started watching some dumb sitcom. Unfortunately, I must have dozed off and woke up at 2:00 a.m. I reached for the phone and saw she had called back at 11:00 p.m. which she knows is pretty late for me. I am embarrassed that the phone must have been ringing inches away from my head and I just kept on sleeping like a baby!

I am assuming everything is fine or she would have left a message. She is really funny about phone stuff. She doesn’t get the caller ID thing at all. She thinks that somehow I just magically know when she calls. 

Sorry to be long winded this morning but there is a lot on my mind. I was reading kim.kim’s post on wanting to visit L. and it made me realize a couple of things. First, I am very lucky that B. lives only two hours away. Secondly, I also want to visit B. and sit at her table while she cooks dinner. I want to act surprised (and secretly happy) when she brings out my “care package”. I want to ride in her car so I can sneak peeks at her while she is concentrating on driving.  I want to just hang out with her and talk about everything.

So even though she is only a couple of hundred miles away, sometimes it feels like light years .

My email response.

I emailed the county clerk again yesterday and wrote that I had been thinking overnight. I told her if it was easier for her, I would be willing to pay to copy the files on both cases and then I could pick through them for the information I am looking for.

I also said I couldn’t remember (I do!) if I told her that I had recently discovered that R. was my biological father and I never had a chance to meet him. Because he had passed away, this was the only way I could figure out what he was like and where he went wrong.

So I have offered to make her job easier, I put a human face on it by sharing that I had never had a chance to meet him and I tried to find some common ground by acknowledging that he wasn’t the most upstanding member of the community.

We will see what happens!

Adoptee Dilemma.

I was reading comments from kim.kim on a recent post and she really got me thinking. I had debated telling the County Clerk why I was seeking information on my deceased  birthfather’s court trials and convictions.

kim.kim had suggested mentioning that he was the father I had never met to put a human touch on the request. I had thought about doing this but then changed my mind several times. Back and forth. It felt…well, it felt sort of like a Dr.Phil thing and I wasn’t sure if I should do something like that.

I have two schools of thought in my head. On one hand, under the US Freedom of Information Act, I am entitled to the information without having to explain myself to any governmental agency. I want to be treated just like anyone else. Is that an adoptee thing? Maybe…

“Enacted in 1966, The Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) is a federal law that establishes the public’s right to obtain information from federal government agencies. The FOIA is codified at 5 U.S.C. Section 552. “Any person” can file a FOIA request, including U.S. citizens, foreign nationals, organizations, associations, and universities. In 1974, after the Watergate scandal, the Act was amended to force greater agency compliance. It was also amended in 1996 to allow for greater access to electronic information.”

On the other hand, I think being an adoptee forces you to know when use “the story” to your advantage.  With all the recent media coverage on reunions and open records laws, there is a curiousity or a “sexyness” to search and reunion stories. People are fascinated by the subject. I still have co-workers call me to ask questions after almost a year into my reunion. Pick up any magazine and you are bound to find an article written by someone touched by search and reunion.

I read Craig Hickman a lot and he mentions being true to yourself frequently.  I can’t seem to figure how to do that out in situations like this.  Am I true to myself if I wanted to be treated like “any person” or am I true to myself if I use any advantage to get the information I want? Or some combination of both?