You Can’t Go Back

I had lunch with an old high school friend yesterday. We hadn’t seen each other in almost 30 years because he and his family moved to Florida in our junior year.

He had seen me when I judged an oyster shucking contest during the summer festival. He somehow tracked me down and we decided to meet. People at work kept asking if I was nervous and I just told them that after locating my birth parents this was a piece of cake.

Don was a real ladies man in high school. All the girls loved his “Ralph Macchio” looks and nice personality. He had black hair parted in the middle, a puka shell necklace and wore loads of Jovan Musk Oil. He would spend hours blow drying his hair and if it wasn’t perfect, he would wet it down and start all over. Full disclosure? I did the same things.

He was also a born again christian who supposedly was a virgin. For some reason, this fact whipped all the high school girls into a frenzy and they just threw themselves at him. He was a charmer.

Anyway, fast forward 30 years. The black hair is now now gray and thin. He put on all kinds of weight and somewhere along the line, he turned into a dirty old man…

During the hour lunch, he kept staring at every woman around the place. He complained that the 25 year old girls didn’t find him attractive anymore. 25 year olds? He is 46! He was…kinda creepy. Divorced twice and still thinking he was a big stud. He complained that his girl friend wasn’t affectionate enough and he was planning on ending it soon. He had his shirt unbuttoned almost to the waist and was wearing some kind of medallion and a pinkie ring.

 I almost suggested he get some sort of makeover before he puts himself back on the market. I have a friend who met a techie type guy, made him over and married him. You should see this guy! He looks like he should be living in Manhattan buying art or something fancy. They are just a breath taking couple. I wonder if she would help Don?

After some thought, I realized that his high school years were probably his peak years. His contact with me was an attempt to go back to simpler times before his divorces and whatever else. He mentioned that he had been in touch with another friend of ours but that guy was pretty unresponsive. Unresponsive? Hmmm…more like smart!

I have decided that I will certainly keep in touch with limits. He mentioned he wanted to get a group of us together and I said sure thing. I feel kind of bad for him because I think he is lonely.

Headed North.

I am heading up north to visit B. She just called since it is snowing and she wondered if I wanted to wait a week. Not a chance!

Her voice brightened when I said I was still coming. I have a jeep and plenty of podcasts to listen to on the trip. I just need some wiper fluid and I am set.

Engaged in the Past.

I had a nice conversation with my paternal half sister the other night. She seems to have become very engaged in my search for information about my biological father.

 She had previously mentioned that he had a girlfriend/ wife back in 1980 when she went to visit him. I told her that I had sent a letter to this woman but hadn’t had a response as of yet. She wondered if this woman might be wary of responding not knowing what I want. She also is very interested in seeing all the court documents I have gathered. I will send out another letter soon.

I think my half sister feels like she finally has someone who is interested in her/our past. Her mother and brother have no interest in him and seem to only have bad memories.

I appreciate all the nice comments on my last post and the reunion has gone very well. I guess it can’t all be perfect and I do have a tendency to gloss over or overlook people’s odd behavior so the bump in the road is really my own fault. I think it is my New England upbringing.

I have some time off coming up due to some surgery and I hope to organize all my search and reunion stuff. It has gotten a bit jumbled and I don’t seem to be able to find stuff when I want it.

A question to the mothers out there. There is a descrepancy in my birth date and I wondered if this is common. Everything (BC, unamended BC, etc.) I have shows my birth date as January 20th but my biological mother swears it was January 17th. She thinks she was discharged on the 20th…she is just so adamant about the date.