Since being reunited, I find myself totally over thinking things. I had a little event that make me wonder…
I wasn’t invited to a big “family and friends” type weekend up at B.’s house over the Memorial Day weekend. At first, I could have cared less but it was strange when I was asked by several people why I wasn’t there. Uh…I wasn’t invited! I just brushed it off but then I started thinking. I realize that is was the anniversary of her son D.’s death and most likely she just didn’t want me there.
This past week, B. said something to me about how she didn’t mention it to me because she knew I was taking my parents to the airport. No offense but that was a big bunch of crap. This party thing went on all weekend and I spent a total of two hours taking my parents to the airport. I actually think she only brought it up because she knew I had found out about it.
She didn’t hesitate when it came to calling me about some financial questions with the estate though. She was right on it.
I guess I feel a little upset that I feel like I am being turned on and off like a light switch. I haven’t even felt like calling her this week at all. Screw that!
I hate feeling like a novelty. An ”as needed” son. Although I am more than understanding, this gets my goat.
June 3, 2008 at 7:39 am
Ugh.
Awful.
Made me feel like I should be glad I have been turned off by my daughter.
Hugs. Sorry for the treatment you received. Adoption turns the most simple things into major acts of drama.
Personally, I would ask her the real reason you werent invited and tell her what you believe it is, and her behavior, etc. She can never get better at it if she doesnt know how it makes you feel.
June 3, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Dan,
I suggest that you talk to her before you draw too many conclusions. Based on your history this seems uncharacteristic. Perhaps it is the loss of two children, D and the years with you that were hard for her to bear on the anniversary of his death.
And she did mention your parents. Your parents. Painfully obvious that she is not your parent. In reunion who exactly are we to each other?
I really have to believe that this will work out for a better understanding between the two of you. But this stuff is really hard to bear in the meantime.
My thoughts are with you.
Angelle
June 4, 2008 at 3:39 am
Thanks Suz and Angelle. I am probably being overly sensitive.