Most likely this post will only strike a note with adoptees in reunion.
I seem to feel more and more disconnected from both my birth relatives and adoptive relatives. When I first reunited, I seem to feel so much closer to my adoptive family. As time went on, I felt closer to my birth relatives and now they all seem to get on my nerves.
I wondered if it had something to do with the holidays but I don’t think so. Maybe I am just getting old and crabby? Most likely.
I toy with the idea of going back to the therapist but I just don’t have the energy to explain everything to her. I don’t want to have to tell her that she was right when she warned me off my deceased birth father’s dysfunctional family. His brother’s family has been wonderful though.
So here I am all reunited. I have been on a two year high and suddenly the bloom is off the rose. I have a good relationship with B. and her family. I don’t think of her as my mother but she is. But then again I guess I don’t really know what having a mother is supposed to be like…
I have been talking with a friend who had her son at age sixteen. She was adamant about keeping her son and succeeded despite the odds. We are thinking of establishing a charitable organization that would provide pregnant teenage girls the resources and support to keep their babies.
I have been looking for similar organizations so if you have any ideas… don’t be shy!
On another note, Stevie Nicks recently gave an incredible concert on PBS’s Soundstage program. She had some cosmetic work done and lost a lot of weight! She has never looked better and she sounds great although I wonder if there might be some sort of “enhancement” to her voice…KimKim? Hmmm…I suppose if I had three backup singers, I’d be terrific too.
Things have been sort of odd the last few weeks. It all started with a scratchy throat that bloomed into a huge cold. I feel like I lost a few weeks instead of just a few days. I hate being sick!
I got all inspired by a special issue of the Boston Globe that described all sorts of volunteering opportunities so I contacted a law firm that does pro bono work for inmates. My birthfather spent a great deal of time in prison and after reading the court transcripts, I feel most of it was apathy on the part of his public defender. In my email, I explained briefly what and why I wanted to volunteer my time and damn if I didn’t get an immediate response! They primarily deal with inmate rights but they also could refer me to a public defender’s office. I am going to set up a meeting with them and see if it a good fit. I can only volunteer three hours weekly but I am willing to do anything so they are thrilled!
On a slightly funny, slightly scary note, my birthfather’s ex-wife who is a “character” called my work and left an urgent message. I never gave her my work number and she has my cell number so it was kind of weird. The service rep who talked to her said she was slightly manic…crying, laughing and asking all about me. I will call her back but I need to feel a little better first.
This weekend was strange. I am not sure if I have political overload or something so I tried not to watch anything election related. After the last two disappointing elections, I vowed not to care so much but I find myself all wrapped up in it again. Argh!
My aparents called twice but I just didn’t feel like chatting so I will catch up with them later. I normally would have called B. too but I spent the weekend feeling very non-communative. Blahs?
Saturday, I did all sorts of errands. I went to Kohls and bought new sneakers, jeans and a set of mixing bowls. They had sent a coupon for 20% off so I felt like I got a good deal. I came home and did some outdoor work. Put away the hose and moved a palet under the deck so I can stack firewood on it.
Saturday night, a school bus (?)dropped of a bunch of teenagers at my neighbor’s house! There must have been a successful football game because there was a huge party going down. The rap music was blaring through the neighborhood and if you went outside it sounded like there had to be several hundred teenagers partying. Girls laughing and squealing. Guys shouting. Cars coming and going. It seemed to go on forever. I expected to find empty beers can everywhere Sunday but there was only two. One in my neighbor’s yard and one at the beginning of the street. Not bad.
Sunday, I just chilled but I think my body clock is off after the time change. I couldn’t snap out of it. I am kicking myself for getting the audiobook version of the Secret Life of Bees. I enjoy it while driving but I would have preferred to curl up with the book yesterday. I fell asleep on the couch right after dinner and slept soundly until the dog woke me at 1:30 a.m.
This is something fairly new but she can’t get through the night without going out to pee. Unfortunately, I don’t go back to sleep like she does. I am happy that she doesn’t mess around though…right to her business! I appreciate this because I can hear coyotes calling in the distance and it is pretty cold.
The guy I am training with is in Hawaii. Maybe I feel funky because I am off schedule with my “core” workout. I promised I would workout while he was away and I’ll be honest…I didn’t. I watched a guy do one handed pushups on a ball the other day! Talk about core strength! Jeez…
