Survived the Holidays.

I made it through the holidays unscathed. I have to admit that I never really felt like I was in the spirit this year…going through the motions. Merry Christmas to all…whatever.

My parents went out to Austin, Texas to spend Christmas with my brother. They had a good time as near as I can tell. I picked them up at the airport last night and my mother came off the plane complaining about the rental car and the directions from Austin to Dallas that the agent gave them. I bit my lip because I was tempted to ask her if there was anything good at all about the trip. The complaining went on the entire ride home…my sister, the airplane, various imagined maladies. Lord! I realized after dropping them off that my mother didn’t even thank me for coming out in the dead of night to pick them up.

I did get up north to see B. on the Tuesday before Christmas. She had made a nice pot roast and I ate with her and her husband. After lunch, her husband and I went for a walk with the dog. I don’t want to over-analyze but I am amazed that this guy seems fine that his wife’s 46 year old son (with someone else!) comes around. I don’t know if I would be as diplomatic. As I drove home on the highway, I thought of visiting R.’s gravesite…the sun was setting and it was very cold so I saluted as I drove by the exit ramp. I hope he understands.

I volunteered to prep food at a homeless shelter in downtown Boston on Christmas day. I had to be there at 7:00 a.m. and there was a line of folks waiting for the breakfast. I went past them to the door and was let in. There was a woman in the line who made some comments to/about me but I couldn’t understand her. Anyway, I had a great time and I worked my ass off.

Some of the kitchen prep people were past or present shelter residents but the kitchen was an equalizer. Nobody knew anybody’s deal so except for one guy who announced he was a resident, we were all the same and all working toward the same goal. I think there were a few folks even doing community service as part of sentences for various crimes.

I worked most of the morning with a guy who looked like he could stab you and rip out your throat but he was so kind, gentle and his eyes were twinkling with joy. Nice guy. Anyway I hope to volunteer again monthly…

Any special holiday stories out there?

Drinking Again?

I can’t believe it has been three weeks since I last posted. I got a nasty cold/flu thing that is making the rounds. Although I feel much better the coughing and congestion is hanging on. I can’t seem to find an over-the-counter remedy that works on all the symptoms.  Here is what I have tried:

• Zirtek- way too stong for me. I felt groogy,crazy and too dried out.
• Tylenol Cold- didn’t help at all.
• Sudafed- seems to help with congestion.
• Mucilex- helped some but didn’t get rid of it.
• Mucilex DM- expectorant and cough supressant? isn’t that counterproductive?
• Vaporub on your feet- folk remedy that doesn’t work.
• Breathe Easy Herb Tea- relieves symptoms while you drink it only. Tastes like horse urine!
• Hot Toddy- Ahhh! Who cares if I’m sick…let’s dance!

Seriously though, I seemed to have lost my taste for alcohol. It happened shortly after I learned that my biological father died from drinking. I used to really enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or maybe a shot of bourbon after snow shoveling but no longer. It isn’t like I consciously avoid it…it just doesn’t taste the same.

My aparents are headed out west over the Christmas holiday and I am seeing B. and her family Monday. Since I will be alone, I volunteered to serve breakfast on Christmas day at a homeless shelter in Boston. I spoke with the head of the shelter and she said they serve over 800 (!) people per meal.  I am sure it will be a sobering experience.

I think this will be a very special holiday for me. I often see homeless people and always think of my biological father. He was in and out of shelters near the end. I hope someone took the time to give him a few bucks, some clothes and took a few minutes to listen to him. I always try to remember that that homeless person is somebody’s father, son, wife, sister. They didn’t just drop out of the sky. Somebody cared for them and loved them.

Searching for a birth parent who has dropped out of society is very frustrating. Of course, searching for a birth parent is like running a maze but add in booze, drugs and mental illness and the path gets clouded. You end up taking what you have discovered and filling in the rest with imagination.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.