It seems like years since I have posted. I will give myself a free pass since my old laptop committed suicide and the “loss of data”. It sounds very severe. Of course, it was the perfect excuse to replace it with the MacBook. It is pretty terrific!
I have been enjoying the new season of Troy Dunn’s Locator. For those of you not familiar with Troy, he is a finder of “lost” people and I would say that about 75% of the stories are adoption related. Surprise!
His first season was pretty flashy with him zooming all over the country on a private jet. The show is very produced and last year I worried that these people being reunited were being manipulated for ratings.
An adoption friend and I even started having a Monday Morning Locator Analysis sessions. We debate each reunion right down to the most insignificant detail.
This year, I am very impressed with Troy. He has really stepped up to the plate and his first reunion actually failed when the mother refused contact. It was heart wrenching television! I (and my friend) applauded Troy when he wrote an email to the mother telling her that she was basically cruel. This show should be mandatory for anyone contemplating reunion!
On another note, I am heading north this weekend to spend some time with B.
10 responses so far ↓
Suz // April 2, 2009 at 9:28 am |
I struggle with this show. I feel that all traumatized by adoption have been just that – traumatized and that by showing it on television is further exploitation and damage. Too personal to be witness and produced. I would hope those that partake are adequately counseled and encouraged to obtain counseling afterwards.
On the flip side. I noticed a big increase in searchi nquiries to even my own site when this show began. So, it does some good as well as bad (in my opinion). It gets those not on the show thinking about searching and the ramifications of reunion.
Troy Dunn // April 2, 2009 at 6:06 pm |
Hello Reunited Dan! Thanks for the kind words about the show. Coming from a family which consists of three generations of adoption, this is not a show for me- it has really become my life work. Looks like you too have developed a platform to inspire and enlighten people about the realities of searching. Thank you for what you do too!
As I type this, I am minutes from bringing together a daughter/father so I must keep this brief.
But thanks for helping spread the message. Fight the good fight!
Remember, You’ll never find peace until you find all the pieces!
Troy Dunn
“The Locator”
Reunited Dan // April 3, 2009 at 6:42 am |
Troy Dunn read my blog? Holy smokes!
Cat // April 15, 2009 at 10:21 am |
Dan, you have an amazing blog.
I am very fortunate that I am reunited with my son. His father and I kept in contact so that our son would not have to go through hoops having to do another search. Your blog vindicates how important father and son are to each other – sometimes people don’t appreciate that.
I wish you well.
BTW – whatever a mother has been through, I agree with Troy that it is cruel to turn away your own flesh and blood.
Many mothers would give their right arm to have their children back in their lives again – that woman does not know how lucky she is.
Lynn // May 4, 2009 at 2:04 pm |
Dan–
I can’t say how I came upon this website, however, I am so glad I did. It gives me pleasure to be able to speak my mind publically about the work that Troy Dunn does on The Locator. Until I saw him on Dr. Phil this season, I never knew he existed. Ever since, I have been an avid fan, recording every episode so I’m sure not to miss out.
I am adopted. Almost 50 yrs. ago I was born in a home for unwed mothers and cannot even get a response from the
orphanage via phone or email–just to request MEDICAL info. When I watch The Locator and see the happy reunions I catch myself having a constant and big smile on my face. It’s so refreshing. Yet, I’ve also seen the rejections and……..it’s a reality you should account for within yourself before diving into a search.
When watching my first ever episode, I was shocked to find out that Troy Dunn is located right here in Lee County Florida where I live. Wish I could be a volunteer on his staff!!!!
Finally, thank you again for your blog and providing this opportunity to speak out.
GO TROY…….you’re the man!!
Thank you again, Dan.
SUSAN FREMER // September 12, 2009 at 3:29 pm |
MY NAME WAS SUSAN STEIN WHEN MY PARENTS GAVE ME NO
CHOOSE THEN GIVE MY BABY AWAY. SINCE I YOUNG AND NOT
MARRIED AND THE BABY FATHER WAS NOT JEWISH, IN MY MOM
EYES NO NO
FOR THE LAST THIRTY YEAR I DONE NOTHING BUT THINK ABOUT
THIS MISTAKE AND WOULD LIKE TO NO MORE
THAN K YOU MY NAME NOW IS SUSAN FREMER
SUSAN FREMER // September 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm |
PLEASE TRY AND HELP FIND SOME HAPPIEST IN MY LIFE
Marcy Leisure // September 25, 2009 at 10:49 am |
Troy’s show is not contrived. The person you see interacting with clients and family on the show, is the person that Troy is. A couple of years ago our family had met a young man and in our “getting to know you conversation”, he asked if I had ever read any of Troy’s books. My reply was no, (not an avid reader, sorry Troy), but when I told him that we knew Troy Dunn, this young man was just amazed. At that time, Troy (and his mom) had been on some talk shows arranging reunions, etc and “The Locator” was not on. Troy is just the man you see on the show, caring, honest and not contrived in any way. Even though we have moved away from the area where Troy lives several years ago, it is a joy to watch the show each week. The segments filmed in Fort Myers make me homesick at times, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I have gotten my mother in-law hooked on the show also and she DVRs it.
My own story is one I would love Troy to take on for me, but I am fearful that the outcome would be more rejection from my biological father. It is very painful (even at 51 years of age) and at times I believe getting some answers from him could bring some closure. So for now, I procrastinate, but may make the call to Troy in the near future.
The main point of my comment is, Troy is for real, it is not in his nature to arrange circumstances in order to gain ratings. And I agree that EVERYONE should see this show.
We love Troy.
joanne popowick // October 23, 2009 at 11:08 am |
if troy read this,please help me i ma an angel case, my sister is sick with sarcodios and we found out my maternial grnadmother who had the same thing but a diffrent name died in 1933,my birthmother gloria schenk/gloria sideratos had 11 kids,two died ,my two brothers were adopted by family,my oldest brother born in 1953-54 was named possiblie william and adopted by my grandfather he was never told he was adopted,my other brother in 1957 was adopted by bm’s sister down south,heres in imfo i have written in an article form and i have updated info and my origanil obc and medical records nwo,help me please. i am the baby of ten kids and wnat to find my older siblings,i wnat them to know i love them and never stopped searching.
My Journey through My adoption,by Joann Lee Sideratos aka Joanne Popowick.
As most people read this article they will probley think”she should be happy with what she has”?The answear is”i am ” however deep in my heart ,all my life there was something eating at me and I needed to know.
I am an adoptee,I”ve known since I was 6 years old,I knew i had a mom and dad who loved me,I had a good home,grew up in Bay Shore,ny and faced crulity to it’s utmost hurt.I had some friends,not many who knew and excepted me for what a was and some people used the all famouse word”bastard” but I knew I knew I was better then most kids.My parents were foster parents,they had their own daughter,there was Kathy Dahl who lived with them ,she was a foster child as well but My fete3rnial twin and I came along September 14,1967.
I am apart of a triplet,breech birth,my sister and I survived but the other child didn’t,all my life I felt she or he was alive and was adopted first,my parents always told me”she or he died at birth,if she or he lived we would of taken all three of you”.So begun my quest to have answears.My parents didn’t know alot,they only knew what the New York Foundling told them”we were triplets,my mother married a greek man to keep him in the United States,their last name was Sideratos”and thats all they ever knew,for many yrs i blocked out the last name only remembering the “s”.
My parents loved us very much,never once when i started to search for who I was or where did I fit in did I ever wnat to hurt them or my sister,My sister was mad when she found out but it wasn’t about her,it was about me.I never resented my parens ever,they gave us a good home,education,love and taught us right from wrong,we never got hooked up in drugs or with the wrong crowd,we were good kids.
Then in 1992 it was time to open up that pandora boxs and start searching,many adoptees in america want their origanial birth certificates and medical records however the state of ny issues an amendd birth certificate with the adoptive parents names on it,the only thing that never changes is the numbers on top,as for medical,adoption agencies tend to hide the facts and won’t even tell an adoptive parents what the medical history is,so adoptees go through life with problems or popped up medical issues and can’t answear the questions a doctor asks because they just don’t know.
This past year after yrs of fighting with New York Foundling,I finally demanded my backround imformation on my Birth Mother and demanded my medical records because my sister is sick with sarcoidios,I finally got some better backround and imformation.I already knew i was apart of 11 kids,2 died one premi and one at birth.
My birthmothers name was Gloria Mary Schenk aka Gloria Sideratos,she was born in northeast ny{possiblie the bronx} March 11,1931.She had a 8th grade education and had severe mental illness,in 1952 she was voluntaryly hospitalized and released in 1953,she had sciophrenic-hebephrenic type,although it was recommended to institutionaliz her,her parents refused,she wa sknown for prostition and vagrancy by the courts along with a false arrest in 1965.My birthmother complained of insomnia,an over active thyroid and cadica condition which she never had treatedmshe spoke of having her tubes tied and hysterectomy.She married the man she named as my father Edward Sideratos in 1957 however he was deported in 1961,this makes it impossible for him to be even remotly my birthfather.
The secrets were coming out,as I dug deeper i found out I was the baby of 11 kids,when you tell people”oh my Birthmother had 11 kids they are in shock”,just think how I reacted.My birthmother used alis names as well,she did work now and then,facory,sales,housekeeper and bartender.My grandfather was german decent,my grandmother irish,my grnadmother died in 1933 of a skin disease in the sarcodios family,my grandfather remarried in 1936 to another irish woman who adopte dmy birthmother and my birthmother and her sister lived with them.My uncle was hrut at age 7,my birthmother never really knew and at 16 the stepmother arranged for a family priest to tell her,my birthmother blamed herself for my grandmothers death.
As for my siblings,in order,a daughter born in 1951 died premi,a son possible name william born in 1953-54 adopted by my grandfather and his wife,my brother was never told he was adopted,he never was told my birthmother was his mother not sister,he thought they were his parents,another son diffrent bf born 1954-55 adopte din 1957,a ssiter ,diffrent bf born in 1956 adopted in 1961,another son with the same first name as the eldest son was born in 1957 he was adopte dby my aunt{bm’s sister} in the south,another daughter born possible full sibling,1958 adoped ,another sister{carol anne} 1959 adopted 1964,carol anne was found in 2002 with the help of a searcher and carol knew most imfo she also lived 10 mins from me all my life in west babylon while i lived in bay shore, we just never knew.
New York Foundlng handled all of our adoptions,my birthmother had to give us up,she couldn’t care for us,we werebrought to Ny Foundling June 19,1967,i contacted chicken poxs and pink eye,my feternial twin sister went to a foster home before me,i contacted chicken poxs june 30,1967,my birthmother last saw me june 28,1967 and it made me upset,we were baptised june 21,1967 it was registered with st. vincents ferrer catholic church.My sister and I were reunited September 14,1967 at the Popowick home in Bay Shore NY,the home we remine din until adoption by them April 12,1973.My birthmothers last contact with my foundling was July 27,1967,she lived in a motel{sherman square motel in lower manhattan ,ny room 636}a fire happened and she had trouble feednga nd carng for twins,welfare was slow,she did talk about bringing us home but adoption seemed best,it was unclear if she ever told my grnadfather and his wife about us and never asked for help.My grnadfathers name was supossiblie william joseph schenk born in 1903 of german heritage.
I do not blame my mother,I never was angery with her,i assumed as a child “she was a young mother who couldn’t care for wo babies”never did I think she was in her mid 30’s and had already now had 11 babies,two dead,I was surpised to say the least.My wnated to find my siblings is because one,I want them to know I never stopped looking,two because i wnat to know they had a good home and were loved and three my twin sister is sick and they have the right to know medical history but most of all to give them hugs and tell them I love them and find out about them and they could know their baby sister never stopped searching.
So,If my siblings ever see this,they will know I made a promise to God at age ten to fnd out answears and it was never made in vain and I’ve kept my word.I believe in the power of hope and faith,somewhere they cross roads and you may hit bumps but you do eventually find the answears,somewhere theres a kind hearted person who will help you and sometimes you do it all on your own,thats just life for now,i have been doing it all on my own for 26 yrs now,asking,pleading and begging,i did get soem answears but ow it’s time for closure and peace.
jennfier // October 29, 2009 at 1:40 pm |
i have a double job, im looking for my brother who has been gone for about eight years and im looking for the two half sisters i never met on my fathers side from a previous marriage. i have a brother who live s in fort myers that wants to meet you (troy Dunn). thanks. jennifer