Where Are My Bootstraps?

I think I have been in a funk since the death of my half brother. I felt like I crawled home from work at 3:00 p.m. yesterday.

I came in the house, took the dog out and fed her, and then fell asleep on the couch until around 8:00 p.m. Oddly, I received a call from my birth mom about 5 minutes after I woke up and we chatted for awhile. I was happy and relieved to hear that her husband finally had a good night’s sleep on Tuesday night. She said he has been waking up two or three times a night and wandering around the house. Tuesday, he finally slept like a log through the whole night.

I crawled back on the couch after the call and slept until 3:00 a.m. 

Yikes! Almost twelve hours of continuous sleep. Maybe I was a little depressed? I do feel pretty good this morning so maybe I just needed to shut down for awhile.

One thing I have been thinking about is the need to reach out to my surviving half brother and sister. I bought some tickets for them to the sold out Kenny Chesney concert and I am mailing them today. The seats are really great and I hope they have a good time. I thought of sending them with no return address but what if they got lost? I am going to throw in a note offering to meet them for a drink somewhere beforehand but am wondering if that is too pushy?

I have some stuff to send to my paternal half brother and his family. Patriots hats and New England type stuff. What is it about search and reunions that reunites us all with the postal service? I very rarely mailed anything and now I am writing letters, sending packages and checking postal rates.

I was feeling very unable to write about my Texas experience but I feel inspiration coming back to me. I watched a very moving documentary called Shot in the Dark by Adrian Grenier. This is the kid who plays the lead on the HBO show Entourage and he did the film about seven years ago to document his reunion with his birth father. I laughed and cried. I highly recommend checking it out. His circumstances were slightly different since he wasn’t actually adopted. He was raised by his mother but the themes of loss are universal.

More soon!

Boulder to Birmingham.

I am on a short vacation from posting but I will be back soon.

I have been listening to this song by Emmylou Harris over and over. I am not a big country fan but the lyrics and her voice speak to me.

Artist/Band:  Emmylou Harris
Lyrics for Song: Boulder To Birmingham

Album: Pieces Of The Sky

I don’t want to hear a love song
I got on this airplane just to fly
And I know there’s life below
But all that it can show me
Is the prairie and the sky

And I don’t want to hear a sad story
Full of heartbreak and desire
The last time I felt like this
It was in the wilderness and the canyon was on fire
And I stood on the mountain in the night and I watched it burn
I watched it burn, I watched it burn.

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

Well you really got me this time
And the hardest part is knowing I’ll survive
I have come to listen for the sound
Of the trucks as they move down
Out on ninety five
And pretend that it’s the ocean
coming down to wash me clean, to wash me clean
Baby do you know what I mean

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.