Coming Soon: Reunited Dan on The Adoption Show.

I had a great conversation with Michelle at The Adoption Show last week. The show should air in the near future so keep your eyes peeled!

I have to say that I was surprised how fast that hour went by.  I also have to say I am completely fascinated by Michelle’s personal history and I highly suggest reading her biography on the website. Although the stories are very different, there is a similarity in that our bio-fathers were drifters and/or loners.

I have been busy at work but I will get back to posting soon.

A Profound Statement.

I am back to work after a two week vacation and pretty darn miserable about it. One short week ago, I was learning to fish, wearing flip flops and shorts, and playing golf. Now I am cramming my feet into dress shoes and wondering why my shirt collars feel so snug.

Yesterday, I had a short conversation with a customer/friend that just bowled me right over. She is my age and became pregnant at age 15. Despite family pressure and her young age, she raised her son. While I knew all this, I was curious what it was like for her going up against her family.

The first words out of her mouth were so profound and have been rolling around in my head ever since. She said that she always felt that “adoption was a permanent fix for a temporary problem”. She went on to explain that as a 15 year old mother she was faced with several temporary problems. She was young, hadn’t finished high school and had no means of support for her child. Did this mean she would be a bad parent? No. Did this mean she would always be in this situation? No. Would she always be young, uneducated and have no financial means? Not at all!

Why wouldn’t we extend the same courtesy to a young mother that we would to a family struggling through a tough financial situation? Why wouldn’t we want to help this young mother succeed? Why do we push this permanent solution (adoption) for a temporary problem?

We decided we would get together again to discuss her thoughts further. She is a strong advocate for finding a temporary solution to help young mothers get to the point where they can comfortably provide for their child without giving them up permanently. I hope that there is an opportunity for me to help her with her advocacy.

She also told me that it was a very rough time for her. She remembers overhearing her grandmother talking to her parents and being called a slut and a whore. She wondered what happened to the grandmother who took her for walks to look at the flowers. She wondered what happened to the grandmother who took her to the zoo and would love her forever?

Anyway, somehow this 15 year old girl managed to buck the system and absolutely refused to give up her child. Was she a bad parent? Hardly! She has a very close relationship with her 29 year old son and went on to marry a great guy. She has two more wonderful kids (ages 7 and 12). She fought the system and won but it was long, hard road.

It makes me wonder what each of us can do to help…

Postscript: I don’t usually take pro and/or con adoption positions on this blog. It has always been intended as merely a journal of my experiences during the search and reunion process. You (the reader) are still free to draw your own conclusions.